The apple did not fall too far from the tree. That was a very insightful book report. Keep reading and filling that bright young mind of yours with great books and good thoughts and you will have an amazing future!

It’s great to see you on here! You are referencing a note I wrote on Facebook about deepening our acceptance of our children with autism:
http://www.facebook.com/juliesando?v=app_2347471856#!/notes/julie-sando/acceptance-for-my-son-rise-families/73515373590

The point I was originally making with the boy I worked with was to make myself as predictable as I could. In your case, with Peniel, you could try it a little differently. You could explain to him that you want to do exactly what he wants you to do and that you are going to do your best to figure out what he wants.

Stand completely still (being predictable), and respond to his actions. When he uses unclear language, try standing still again, in a ready-position, and explain you really want to help and you love his words, but you aren’t sure exactly what he wants. Tell him he can show you (or whichever way he lets you know he wants you to jump/match/clap with him) and you will respond super quick! (I know you have mentioned in the past that he does not want to be celebrated so feel free to omit that part for Peniel.)

The point I ended up making turned out being more for myself than for the boy I was working with: THE KEY TO ACCEPTANCE IS TO BE AWARE OF HOW MUCH YOU ARE WANTING SOMETHING DIFFERENT THAN WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING. Every time you catch a thought like “I wish he would use clearer language” or “I really want this game to keep going” or “I should really encourage him to use the bathroom” – be aware that this is WHAT WE WANT…not necessarily what he wants.

Once you are aware of those thoughts, practice letting them go, and loving what Peniel is currently doing, without wanting it to be any different than it is. This is a time to let go of all requests. It is a time to let go of trying to “make him talk,” etc.

That is acceptance. It is also completely ok to want to help him learn things, like how to talk. I have played with the balance between acceptance and wanting, and now when I request, I am very clear that this is what I want…it is all for me. I love to experiment with the extremes and find the balance. So one session, I may make no requests and practice acceptance on a deeper level. And another session, I may request 150%, more than I typically would, and I’d be completely aware that I am requesting because it is what I want for my relationship with this child. The next session, my intention is to create the balance between the two!
HAVE FUN!!!
I am so glad you wrote Chi Chi!
Lots of love to you!
Julie Sando

I saw your law of acceptance and i want to try it out with my son Peniel.
He loves playing a lot, jumping, matching, clapping, he likes someone doing it with him all the time. How do I sit on CONER doing my own thing when he wants to drag me to do his own? How do I make him talk clearly with the law of acceptance because he talks though I don’t understand him.

Thanks Julie, I always love your ideas.

1- You’ve got one great mom there! In fact, since she made you read “The Go Giver,” you might see HER as a Pindar in YOUR life too!

2- Your report was really well done, and I’m sure you have a great future ahead of you – I hope you’re proud. I’m sure your mom is too!

My name is Julie Sando. I wrote the scrapbook post below this one. I recently moved from Massachusetts to CARLSBAD, CA! I attended my first ever Chamber Meeting in Carlsbad on May 7th to hear Michael Gerber speak. I had no idea what happens at Chamber meetings. I was AMAZED to see that even with an incredible speaker being there, there was a significant amount of time set aside to have each table take time to share within that circle. We gave our business cards to each other and the moderator of the table asked each person questions like “How can I help you gain business?” and “Who are the people I know in my line of work that would benefit you?” My Go-Giver light bulb lit up. I could feel it.

At the meeting you pick someone’s business card and meet them for coffee. I recently firmed up plans with the person who drew my card. I confessed over email that I don’t know what happens at these meetings and she’ll have to fill me in. She writes:

“I am really looking forward to meeting you and finding out more about you, where you came from, what you think of Carlsbad so far, and your thoughts on the Chamber. I will be more than happy to tell you whatever it is you want to know about the community and the Chamber.”

That was Go-Giver light bulb #2.

Today, I ‘happened’ to check this website to see what posts had been made and here it is a local one from The Carlsbad Chamber!

Carlsbad Chamber of Commerce Go-Giver Light Bulb #3 couldn’t be brighter!

Right now, reading this post that is right above mine, I am in awe of how this Universe works to bring us all together!

I am excited to announce that I will be joining the Carlsbad Chamber of Commerce because of this connection and clear realization.

I just started my own business, moved across the country, and am figuring out how to make new friends. In this moment, after over 6 months of settling in here, I feel like I found home.

Thank you for posting this Colleen. And thank you for the article Ted. I look forward to meeting each of you in person! And thank you again to John David Mann and Bob Burg for creating the space for these connections to happen!

In Gratitude,
Julie Sando
Autistically Inclined .com

I am thrilled to say that I was one of Julie’s friends who did “The Go-Giver” experiment she mentioned – we all read one section a day together and implemented that specific Go-Givin’ law that day. Wow, The Go-Giver did rock my world!

After reading about the Laws of Compensation and Influence, I was clear that it was time to share the work I do in a larger and more giving way.

As a Yoga Educator, my clients just want to relax, and feel healthier, so I wondered, how could I make it even easier for them to do so? What would be easier than coming to a class?

Many of my clients are busy or travel a lot, so I created a website with free short yoga experiences people can try in just a few minutes, based on my regular clients’ requests. In just a few months over 5,000 people in over 34 countries have watched the videos! Now other health educators are getting involved to help people around the globe with other types of inspiring videos. (www.everybodythrive.com).

I recommend The Go-Giver to everyone! It is such a light, fun read, with deep and profound impact, should you take a day to try it out!

Thank you again for sharing your insight with the world, I am overjoyed to see the positive impact of your work continue to grow!

Big Gratitude,
Karlee

Thank you so much for posting your question. I love hearing stories from the playroom and it is extra special to be hearing what is happening in Nigeria.

I have to say, I absolutely LOVE the way you have responded when he says “GOAL” in the playroom. It is brilliant because you are making his language powerful by placing an action to his words. For a child who has difficulties with language or communication it is important to show them this power. You are also showing him how great it is to use language with other people by making your response fun.

One thing to add (if you aren’t already) is CELEBRATING him genuinely for using his language to tell you what he wants. This will most likely also encourage him to keep on using language. Even if he is saying it over and over, remind yourself how great it is that he is passionate about something and wanting to share it with you.

Another way to mix things up is to expand the game (and his language) into different types of goals. You could create a basketball goal, a soccer goal, and a football goal. When he says “GOAL” you could celebrate him and explain that you aren’t sure what kind of goal he wants. Model your actions by shooting each goal and telling him the names. Then ask him which kind of goal he wants. If he is motivated, you can expand the game by inviting him to participate (e.g. keeping score, taking turns kicking the ball, getting the ball for you to make a basket, etc.). There are so many ways to expand upon this one word.

The most important thing is that you are having fun. Do whatever it takes to make sure you are having a blast and that will be more inviting for him to really want to engage with you.

Keep me posted on how things are going.

Take care,
Julie